How to Not Fail. And other existential crises essentials.

What is life? What am I here for? What’s the point? We’ve all been there. Or will be. Or are there now. How am I handling mine? I’m moving to Costa Rica for one month. But I digress…

Sometimes there is just a phase of life that comes into rotation every few years that makes you question your whole path. If the choices you have been making thus far have all been for naught and are, in fact, leading you nowhere. You have self-diagnosed Failure Disease.

Failure Disease [fay-uhl-yer dys-eeze] (n): a made-up thing people think they have when life doesn’t look totally perfect right at this second. Common symptoms include: tears, excessive moodiness, emotional-eating, and a chatty, egoic mind that wont stop taunting and accentuating your flaws. Ask your health coach before self-diagnosing. May cause low self-esteem, weight gain, decreased energy, and early onset of aging and chronic disease. Failure Disease is not recommended for optimists, go-getters, or the general human population.Seek immediate care from your best friend and/or your neighborhood Coach Katie for a speedy recovery.

I think these times are important. And maybe even a beautiful (albeit challenging and uninvited) opportunity for introspection. It is in this time of total panic and self-doubt that we have the opportunity to see ourselves the clearest. To turn inside and figure out what it is we are supposed to learn from this madness. Yes, I am one of those people. One of those people that sees every situation, interaction, and flaming mistake as a chance to learn and grow.

*insert motivational quote here about how there is no such thing as mistakes, only lessons; get knocked down 7 times, stand up 8; etc.*

I mean, let's be real.

I mean, let’s be real.

Don’t get me wrong, I can throw an EXCELLENT pity party. But then, I clean up from the party and move on. Here is how:

 1. CONSIDER THE FACTS:  

This is self-diagnosed. You control if you get it. You control if you get rid of it. It is in your hands! This is an intimidating and powerful process for all of life– use it often, and wisely. If you don’t want Failure Disease anymore, then decide that. Boom. Cured.

2. WRITE IT DOWN. 

Literally. Take out a pen and paper (brownie points if you don’t use your computer). There is scientific and experiential evidence in the healing power of putting your problems onto a piece of paper so your brain doesn’t have to deal with them anymore (1). Give it away. Let the paper deal with it. Seeing all of your worries and fears literally spelled out somehow makes them less scary and life-ruining. Then burn the paper if you have to. Shred it, chew it up, spit it out, and throw that sucker AWAY. (I would say recycle, but it’s probably past that point with the spitting and such.)

[1] A recent study on journaling: Result indicated that participants with greater levels of distress derived greater benefit from Journaling. Benefits include: Decreased heart rate, less physical symptoms, faster rate of recovering and healing (1). 

3. LET IT GO. 

Let go of the garbage that is clogging up your beautiful mind and body. Let go of the need for control. Spoiler alert! WE NEVER HAVE CONTROL. Truth is, there is no way for us to know what will happen in a few minutes let alone the next few years. Trust that if you listen to your heart, do the work, then get out of your own way, the right opportunities fall into place. It’s foolproof. It’s simple. But it is NOT easy. I work with clients for months on this step alone.  If you’d like a session to dive deeper into your goals and how to get out of your own way to make them happen, let me know!

All of us have a role that we’re uniquely suited for. Imagine our planet without trees, oceans, or clouds. In this same way, when one of us doesn’t develop or use our special gift, a universal void takes place. This unique talent or ability may be hidden from your own sight like a golden treasure buried under shifting sands. Often, we spend so much time dazzled by the talents of others that we can overlook our own gifts. So sit down. Right now. I’ll wait….

WRITE DOWN:

  • 3 fears
  • 3 of your greatest strengths. Is it creativity? Logic? Throwing awesome parties? Making people laugh? Organization? We all have something. Ask me or a trusted friend if you need someone to help kickstart your list.
  • What you would be doing if nothing was holding you back (not money, location, age, etc).

Your answers may surprise you. It’s all in there. I promise.

Respond with your answers or with more questions and I will get back to you!

SPECIAL GUEST BLOGGER NEXT WEEK!! Tatianna Barrera, holistic health coach and author of No Milk, Please. will provide us with her insightful knowledge and witty expertise of all things dairy. Sure to be very informative so don’t miss out!!

Tatianna milk banner

Anything else you’d like to learn about? Let me know!

REFERENCES

1. Expressive disclosure and benefit finding among breast cancer patients: Mechanisms for positive health effects.

Low, Carissa A.; Stanton, Annette L.; Danoff-Burg, Sharon

Health Psychology, Vol 25(2), Mar 2006, 181-189. doi: 10.1037/0278-6133.25.2.181

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One thought on “How to Not Fail. And other existential crises essentials.

  1. Katie, Saw a hummingbird at my office window Today. I’m thinking this has to be good luck❗ Any good bean muffin recipes? 😘 S.

    Sent from my iPhone

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